Well, this post has been a long time coming, but I wanted to wait until I could write a level headed review before proceeding. I’ll do my best.
**(Disclaimer…if you LOVE and adore Holt and can’t stand reading anything negative about them, please stop reading. My point is not to offend, simply to tell one story. I do NOT want to be attacked over this.)**
First, I’d like to say that I believe that Holt is as ethical as any adoption agency can get. That said, there will always be someone involved in international adoption that is unethical and you just never know where they are or what level they’re at, so just utilizing an ethical US agency isn’t going to guarantee that your adoption is completely ethical, but it helps. And again, as far as ethics go, I believe Holt is one of the best. If that is all that matters to you, then consider them. However, if like me, you would like an agency that supports their families before, during and after an adoption, they’re not for you–at least not in our experience.
My first hint that Holt really struggled with communication was about three days after we applied to adopt through them. We had heard…nothing! I called and emailed and still…nothing. Communication never improved and I would say that it is their main weakness. They do not appear to have good communication with their adoptive families before, during or after the adoption process and they certainly do not have good communication with their staff in Ethiopia (I can only speak to the Ethiopia program and about that set of staff because that is the program we went through. It is completely possible that their other programs are better operated.).
Our adoption process followed a very abnormal time schedule. At the time, it was only taking families 3-6 months to get their children home after referral. Our case took about 9 months and it was unnecessary. Now you might wonder, what’s another 3-6 months? Well, Kayla was hospitalized with bacterial meningitis, diagnosed with rickets and it was discovered that she had “no use of her legs” in that “extra” time and we were stuck here, not being able to help her at all. So, it’s a bit stressful to be stuck in that situation. Plus, none of that would have happened had she just come home.
There was really no good reason for our case to have taken so long. A part of the process that should have taken a few days took two months and we never did receive any sort of explanation on that. This caused us to have to travel twice instead of once, upping our costs and time required in country by quite a bit. Really, this one delay put us back about 4 months as we had to wait until after court closures in the rainy season to actually attend court to adopt Kayla. We never received any kindness, just rudeness when we questioned why. We were point blank told that Holt would not (or could not, I don’t remember the exact phrase) advocate for us with their Ethiopia staff. This made me wonder what purpose Holt actually served in our adoption. Was it just to take our $ and forward emails from their Ethiopia staff on to us? I thought it was to facilitate our adoption and to offer us support. Boy was I wrong. When we dug for the truth, we were met with responses that were less that truthful. It was very discouraging. By that point, we already knew who Kayla was and we believed that she was to be our daughter and we knew that if we pushed too hard Holt could just choose to not work with us further, so we felt very trapped.
Near the end of our process, we did finally find one staff member who was consistently kind in her responses to us and that meant so much. If the rest of the Holt Africa staff just could have been kind and honest, it really would have gone a long way. Instead, we were often met with defensiveness and less than truthful responses and were left feeling like “covering their butts” was more important that our daughter’s well being was. It felt crummy, to say the least. Eventually, we did just ask that Holt greatly limit their communication with us (which is kind of a joke since they rarely communicate anything anyway) until our process was closer to completion.
Eventually, we did get to go to court and eventually we did get to go back and get her. She’s home. She is wonderful. We feel very blessed to have Kayla in our lives. We could have done without the drama from our adoption agency, the total lack of support and the lack of ability to just tell the truth though. We learned to rely on information from other adoption agencies that were working in Ethiopia as many of them are much more timely with their information and really attempted to tell the truth rather than manipulate words to paint a prettier picture. Online support groups became both a blessing and a curse. It was tough to watch so many other families moving through the process normally, but it was good to get real information, too.
As for post-adoption services…ha! We have hardly heard from Holt International. They have never once checked in with us to see how Kayla is doing. True, they do get reports when she’s home one, three and six months, but those reports only contain a fraction of what’s going on. It astounds me that they have staff that scour blogs of adoptive families (yes, there are ways to track that and yes, many of us have seen this happen) but they can’t have a staff person to support families home. It makes me wonder if they truly care about the children at all. We’re left feeling like they definitely do not, not ours at least. That’s a crummy feeling, too.
In the end, I believe that God worked all of this for good, as He typically does. Due to the fact that we had to travel twice, we had to depend on God to provide some finances for our adoption and rather than providing some, He provided all. We would have missed out on that blessing had we only traveled once. Also, my eyes were opened MUCH more widely to international adoption and what goes on behind the scenes. I had always dreamed of working in an orphanage and facilitating adoptions. Now, I can honestly say that I don’t want any part of international adoption. My passion is family preservation and helping families to stay together in crisis. I don’t know if I would have had that shift had we not personally experienced some of the drama and ridiculousness that happens in international adoption.
Now, please notice that I did title this post MY honest review. I know many families and have some great friends who used Holt International who have nothing but great things to say about them. I certainly wouldn’t cross Holt off your list just because of what you’re reading here. I simply want to be honest and provide another viewpoint for people to consider.
UPDATE: After nearly two years of following adoption stories, many of Holt families, I have posted some new thoughts on ethics, corruption and agencies. Here’s a link.
ADDITIONAL UPDATE: Since moving to Ethiopia, I have gotten very involved in the adoption world–more involved than I ever intended. I have seen quite a few inner workings of international adoption and have seen quite a few families go through birth family searches. Through all of these experiences, I have come to the conclusion that no agency is ethical. Many of the agency employees in Ethiopia are doing horribly unethical things and they justify it by stating that more good is accomplished with those lies than damage done. At best, the staff in America is ignoring HUGE red flags on paperwork. After hearing a dozen stories, I cannot ignore those red flags. There is no possible way that agencies operating over here for years haven’t noticed them. They have to be choosing to bury their heads in the sand. Why? I would highly encourage anyone thinking of adopting from any country to just do an independent orphan verification status before accepting the referral and definitely before attending court to legally adopt the child. They’re no always 100% accurate, but it’s a start. And, yes, it does tag about $500 on to the adoption fees, but really, what’s another $500 when you’re talking about the truth or possibly preventing another “orphan”. When people ask me what agency I recommend, my answer truly is “none”. It’s not that I no longer recommend international adoption, I just don’t think any agency is free from corruption and it is up to the parents to do the dirty work and find the truth. The agencies are not doing it for you or for the children.
Thank you for saying everything I have been thinking. I’m struggling with my faith in Holt right now and most likely if we are ever blessed again with the opportunity to adopt I will not be going with Holt. I feel so unsupported by them at the moment. All their answers to my questions are canned and diplomatic. I want a real person with real answers…..and here we are not even having a referral yet…I’m scared to death what’s going to happen after we actually know our child’s face.
Thank you, Sara. I’m so sorry that you’re struggling right now. I hope that you don’t feel alone and I’d be happy to talk more with you in moments of frustration.
The reading of blogs thing is so pathetic. If it is what a paranoid staff member does in her/his own time, that is one thing. If it is an official part of someone’s duty, I wonder what they hope to do with the information.
My question is where does the dishonestly overlap with ethics? Is it one and the same? Simply a red-flag? Completely unrelated? I do not know the answers to these questions.
Good questions. I don’t know either, and I don’t think we ever will. If you find out, let me know!
All I can say is wow. My husband & I are currently in the Ethiopia program w/ Holt (waiting on our referral) and I must admit we are losing our confidence in them more and more with every passing day. I appreciate your candid story b/c it helps us to feel a little less crazy in our not-so-favorable opinion of Holt. Thanks again
Sorry you are going through this with them. We are not alone–I have received many private messages about this post. If you ever want to chat, send me an email. meehanfive@gmail.com
-Betsy
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This is a very interesting post and comments. I have been in the process of adopting from Holt and have to say that in 2014, their communication style and care for adoptive families is just as bad. The reputation that Holt has and that made us choose them over other adoption agencies is all based on the Holt of the past. Holt has lost it’s mission and care for unifying children with families.
My husband and I decided we want to adopt internationally and we have begun researching agencies. I cannot find an agency with good reviews and I am feeling so overwhelmed. How would you go about adopting a child independently?
I will email you, Jenna.
Boy am I glad I found this blog. Began wondering when I researched their transparency rating in feedback & disclosure from their ‘own leadership’. Thank You Lord for this blog and help change the hearts of those in leadership Holt.